NEW WORK : 2020 Census / Allison Cundiff
Even after staring at Allison Cundiff’s wonderful "2020 Census” for hours and hours, I am still not exactly sure how to define it. Is it fiction? Is it non-fiction? Is it some new form of poetry derived from an artful compilation of statistics? Is it everything all at once, and we are merely observing a small, numerical slice of the universe whole? I don’t know. And you know? I don’t care. Cundiff’s work is bold and strange and I love it.
I think you will too.
2020 Census
by Allison Cundiff
As of the census of 200, there were 124 people, 46 households, and 32 families living in the village of Climax Springs. The population density was 269.6 inhabitants per square mile (104.1/km2). There were 60 housing units at an average density of 130.4 per square mile (50.3/km2). (1) The racial makeup of the village was 98.1% White and 1.9% from OTHER. There were 52 households, of which 22% had men who beat their dogs. 62% of the girls were called boy-crazy by their mothers, and later crazy by their husbands.
The Union Electric Company, now known as Ameren after merging in 1995, began construction on the Bagnell Dam in August of 1929 for the purpose of hydroelectric power generation (2) and employing <2% of all local village residents. 29% of those residents think AIDS is a queer disease.
The median age in the village was 39 years. 33.1% of residents were under the age of 18. The gender makeup of the village was 53.2% male and 46.8% female. (3) The average household has at least one female whose favorite piece of jewelry turns her fingers blue and can locate Pokeroot in the timber but cannot locate the US capital on a map. 39% of the children below the age of 18 are overweight but lack bone mineral density. For every 100 females, there were 105.1 males. For every 100 females aged 18 and over, there were 110.3 males. The ratio of all residents to sex offenders is 23 to 1. (4)
The average household family size is 4 with one in every five daughters who thinks of killing her father. 39% of boys below the age of 12 are called rowdy by their mothers. 77% are firearm proficient. 18% of girls below the age of 14 according to the 2018 records have a pregnancy scare by the time they are 14. 73% of students are below proficient at math; 57% are below proficient in reading. (5) 33% of inhabitants report it is easier to locate fentanyl than mental health resources.
72% of homeowners utilise a septic system. In the central region the requirement for a septic system is 1,000 gallons for a three-bedroom home based on a flow of 110 gallons per day per bedroom. A five-bedroom home has a minimum of 1,500 gallons. (6) 18% of male homeowners inquire about the menstrual cycles of their daughters, advising them to wrap their “napkins” and dispose of them outside of the home so that the system isn’t compromised. 19% of all girls under the age of 15 have googled “home abortion” in the last twelve months.
The coordinates of the village are as follows: Latitude: 38° 06' 7.80" N; Longitude: -93° 03' 3.00" W. (7) The village is located on a ridge-like landform in the northern Ozarks about 4 miles north of the Little Niangua River. (8) The area just southeast of Climax Springs is called Kolb Hollow, with Kolb Branch running through it. In 2020, the rural gun death rate was 27% higher than the urban rate, according to CDC reports. (9) Suicide was the main cause.
A post office was established in 1883, (10) Firehouse is volunteer only.
1 US Census Bureau, Census.gov, August 29, 2023.2 Ashley Eddy, “History of the Bagnell Dam, 90 Years since Start of Construction,” KRCG, September 16, 2019.3 US Census Bureau, Census.gov, August 29, 2023.4 “Registered Sex Offenders in Climax Springs, Missouri,” Registered sex offenders in Climax Springs, Missouri - crimes listed, registry-based, living in this city, accessed September 5, 2023 5 “Climax Springs High School (2023 Ranking) - Climax Springs, MO,” Public School Review, accessed September 5, 2023.6 “On-Site Septic Systems and Subdivisions,” On-site Septic Systems and Subdivisions | Missouri Department of Natural Resources, accessed September 5, 2023. 7 “Climax Springs, Missouri,” GeoHack, accessed September 5, 2023.8 1. Missouri Independent November 17 Sarah Melotte, “Rural Gun Deaths Exceed Urban Rates by 28% Because of Increased Suicide Rates • Missouri Independent,” Missouri Independent, November 17, 2022.9 1. Niangua River Watershed and inventory assessment, accessed September 5, 2023.10 1. “Jim Forte Postal History,” Jim Forte Postal History, accessed September 5, 2023, https://www.postalhistory.com/.
